People hate feeling bad. And they try everything possible to come back to a nice feeling. And that is THE PROBLEM. Bad feelings and low mood are not.
Bad feelings are created, same as all feelings, by thought. Left alone the thought would fly away carrying the bad feeling on its wings. That is the nature of thought: it comes and it goes. Unless we make it stick by paying attention, thinking more about it, trying to fix it, send it away, push it down. It is like dust in the air. There is nothing you can do to let it settle faster than doing nothing to make it settle!
Bad feelings are part of life. The Human Condition.
You wake up in the morning, feeling bad. You don´t know why, so you look around and think…
Your brain is the master in finding explanations. It will always find something. The coming exam, the bad weather, the bad yesterday, the food, the spouse, the work, the lack of money. Or the bad personality. We automatically and innocently look outside to justify our feelings. We all do that. This is what we have been taught to do, this is what it looks like to most of us.
But the thing is that the outside has nothing to do with our feelings. They come with thoughts from the inside. And we do not control them. Thought pops in our mind and we feel it in our body as an emotion. That is how the system works. 100% of time.
By looking outside and attributing the feeling to anything but a thought in the moment, we fix the feeling (and the thought) in place. And they stick.
All you need to do is to stop. Stop looking for the explanation in the world around you, in your past, your future or personality. They are not causing your feelings. Just know it is a thought. And it will pass. Because that is its nature.
The second thing we do is trying to fix, suppress or push away the bad feeling. But as most people know by now, it rarely works. Why? Because almost anything you try will usually require more thinking. And the more you think, the worse you will feel.
So what are the common strategies for dealing with bad feelings? We “medicate” them. Drugs, alcohol, cigarette, food, adrenaline sports…. We employ our great intellect to find the solution to our problems and situations. We change bad thoughts to good thoughts by the power of positive thinking. We fix the external situation by getting rid of the “cause of our bad feelings” – quitting the lousy job, divorcing the spendthrift spouse, and finding the right one, dieting, making more money, taking vacation, meditating…
The problem with these solutions is that they make things worse, do not work or bring only temporary relief. And while trying them we turn into addicts and binge eaters, go from one diet to another, quit eight jobs in a year, become broke and homeless because of the divorce lawyers ‘costs, expensive seminars and consultants who were supposed to teach us how to master our emotions and take control of life.
The good news is that you do not need any of that to feel good again.
External situations, people, and things do not cause feelings. They come from thought. And thoughts are temporary. They come and go if you let them. You do not need to analyse them, suppress them, or send them away. They are designed to flow unless we get in the way.
Do you still want a manual? Ok. So, if you feel bad just do this:
There is nothing to do but a lot to see. Remember, there is nothing like a solution to a feeling!
You wake up in the morning, feeling bad. You see it for what it is and know this too shall pass. And you go about your business…